do i believe in life after change rooms?

from the evening of march 11, 2011

So I'm travelling, I believe to Hinton, Alberta. Have y'all been to Hinton? It is quite majestic, with the smell of sulphur in the air and the taste of...well, I'm not really sure what it tastes like, but the water tastes really weird. Even in the swimming pools in hotels. It's true, I have been there. Not just in dreams, my friends.

So I am there and I am using one of their athletic facilities and then need to use the change room. It is not clean and I am not happy to be there. There is a gentleman there who is naked but for white socks. He is expressing interest. I hate his socks. It's a push-pull thing.

I turn to get my stuff out of the locker and I can feel his hot breathe on my neck. Not really a turn on, in this particular scenario. I turn around to give him the what for, and I am frozen in fear. Due to a naked man in tube socks. A whole new level of pathetic. I grab my gear and get the hell out of there.

That's when I run into Cher. Now this might mean something to most gays in their dreams. But I'm not sure what it means to me, as I could care less about her. True, I think she is the poster child for why one SHOULDN'T get plastic surgery, but other than that I can really take her or leave. They're coming for my membership soon aren't they? The gay mafia?

Anyway, Cher is being hunted down by a killer and she needs my help. And someone who is terrified by naked men in change rooms is certainly the man for the job, no? She goes to call a woman who is also helping her and hears her outgoing message then drops the phone. I pick it up and listen to the message. It's The Hunter.

"Hello. This used to be Donna. It's not anymore. And I know where you are..."BEEP

THE END