paranormal activity 3 : rickety cabin

from the evening of march 14, 2011

I am at a cabin, as the title suggests, with my friend Christine and some undesirables we use to hang out with back in the day. We are happy to be with each other, but clearly could do without the others in the room.

Suddenly one of the jerk offs, who had been out of the room, comes in and says "this place is fuckin' haunted man". We all laugh. He must be high on something. But he is resolute. "I was just in the kitchen and the stove started shooting flames at me".

"That's what happens when you turn on a gas stove", Christine says clearly exasperated. (Christine, even if you were wearing your sunglasses that day, they'd sense your eye roll)

"Wait!" Someone says, "it's not a gas stove". I notice the curtains moving even though there is no door or window open. It's kind of like a shape moving across the room, and everything it passes warps out of shape when it does. Then whatever it is begins strangling one of the people in the room. To death. As we all sit and scream. It feels like eternity when I finally think to yell "RUN!" We all scatter to different parts of the house.

I'm not really sure what we think we're going to do...clearly we're dealing with some sort of poltergeist, so I don't think "hiding behind a door" is gonna cut it. I hear other people screaming as I hide behind a shower curtain and know my turn is next. Sure enough, I feel something hit me with an incredible force, like a wrecking ball. I fall back against the shower wall. When I get back up, I feel like myself but not.

I look in the mirror and what is looking back at me is a different head then the one I'm used to. At certain angles it is a light green, like the colour of a fish. And I have hair like Ernie from Sesame Street. Oh yes! And my eyes are just two x's. Uber creepy. But then I turn my head and it's my normal face again.

Then the fishy-like being leaves MY being, and I actually hear it rushing down the stairs and it slams out the door. It has left us. Christine, The Undesirables and I meet up in the entry way of the cabin. We know it's going to come back, and we have to warn everyone out there about it.

We agree to split up to spread the word, and I decide to hit Brentwood Village Mall. Apparently our cabin getaway was somewhere close to Calgary. I head directly to the Kmart when I get there, as that used to be the totem pole store of that mall. Yes, it's that kind of mall. I head directly to the restaurant section of the store. Along the way I get distracted by the array of plastic shoes for sale. Some look pretty good. I'm taking off my shoes to try them on when the whole room seems to shift.

I look up and the whole front of the store is warping just as the cabin had. We be in trouble. And I didn't even get to try the shoes.
THE END